# “SAM:” You are the nuttiest, the stupidest, the phoniest fruitcake I ever met!
“DIANE:” You Sam Malone are the most arrogant self centered…
“SAM & DIANE:” (together) SHUT UP!
“SAM:” Shut your fat mouth!
“DIANE:” Make me
“SAM:” Make you.. My God I’m, I’m gonna, I’m GONNA BOUNCE YOU OFF EVERY WALL IN THIS OFFICE!!
“DIANE:” Try it and you’ll be walking funny tomorrow… Or should I say funnier.
“SAM:” You know, You know I always wanted to pop you one! Maybe this is my lucky day, huh?
“DIANE:” You disgust me! I hate you!
“SAM:” Are you as turned on as I am?
# “SAM:” I’m in big, BIG trouble. I did something that felt so right when I did, but now it turns out to be ALL wrong.
“DIANE:” What’s her name and how many months?
# “DIANE:” That didn’t sound very sincere.
# “DIANE:” Do you know what the difference is between you and a fat, braying ass?
“DIANE:” The fat, braying ass would! speaker
# “SAM:” Yeah, well at least I didn’t fly across the country to make an ass out of myself.
“DIANE:” Why bother, when you do it so brilliantly right here?
# “SAM:” You know I’ve never met an intelligent women that I would want to date!
“DIANE:” On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say WHEW!