Bathroom Sayings

Cute Funny Bathroom Sayings Quotes that you can put on your bathroom wall

A nice hot bath will fix just about anything…
Arise, go forth and conquer !!

Bare bottoms welcomed here !


Bathroom Rules:

Hand towels are to be used by guests only.
If you are not a guest,
please dry your hands on your clothes !!


Bathroom Rules:  WASH-BRUSH-FLOSS-FLUSH !!
Be a sweetie….Close the seatie !
Bear Hugs and Back Rubs Welcome


First water   10 cents
Used water    3 cents


GENTLEMEN:  Your aim will help…stand closer; it’s shorter than you think.
Happiness is a long, hot bubble bath.
How long is a minute?  Depends on which side of the door you’re on.
I aim to keep this bathroom clean.  Your aim will help !


I believe the only time
the world beats a path to my door
is when I’m in the bathroom.


If there’s a ring in the tub,
please answer it !!


If you sprinkle when you tinkle
be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!

If you’re astinkin’ and asweatin’…git to washin’  !!


In this land of fun and sun,
We flush on two, not one.

LADIES:  Please remain seated for the entire performance.
No job is finished until the paperwork is done !


Replacing the toilet paper roll
will not cause brain damage !


Please God….tell Mommy that cowboys
don’t take baths !!

Reading Room — Appointment Needed !!


Rub-a-dub-dub…Please scrub the tub !


Rub a dub dub
Four girls in the tub,
Splishing and Splashing with glee.
They’ve scrubbed and they’ve rubbed
and they’ve played in the tub,
And now they are clean as can be !


Save Water…Shower with a Friend !!

Splish…Splash….I was takin’ a bath !


The only time the world beats a path to your door
is if you’re in the bathroom.


There is too many kids in this tub.
Too many elbows to scrub.
I just washed a behind, I’m sure wasn’t mine.
There’s too many kids in this tub.


This is a do-it-yourself bathroom.
No maid service available.

We aim to please….you aim too please…!!

Who awaits outside the door,
One many never know;
So tarry not my friend,
He too may have to go !!

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23 Responses to Bathroom Sayings

  1. bob says:

    want in one hand shit in the other,see which one gets full first

  2. ananymous says:

    “Be like Pop, not like Sis, lift the lid when you p*ss.”

  3. keisha.mendonza says:

    It matters not how long u stay,just flush before you go away.

  4. Kate says:

    Here is sit here broken hearted,
    payed a dime but only farted.
    Next time I will take my chance,
    Save a dime and crap my pants!

  5. Nicole says:

    If your running to the stall and its dripping down the hall diarrhea

    If your swimming in the pool and you leave a trail of stool diarrhea

    If your hanging upside down and your face is turning brown diarrhea

  6. tiffany miller says:

    if you made it skinkie, please clean up, and not just the sinkie!nn1

  7. tiffany miller says:

    if you make it stinkie, please clean up, and im not talking about the sinkie!

  8. DJW says:

    This toilet is self service, please use the MANUAL FLUSH upon finishing.

  9. Ankit says:

    Due to industrial actions, the door would be closed tomorrow.
    So Do as much as you can today!!!!

  10. TaTania says:

    If you sprinkle when you tinkle
    please be neat, and wipe the seat!!! 🙂

  11. Melissa says:

    Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment. – Rudyh

  12. Cherie says:

    Don’t flush till it’s mush.

  13. DeAnna says:

    If you leave this room a stink’n
    Close the door so the air ain’t leak’n

  14. Sharon says:

    If it is yellow, let it mellow. If it is brown flush it down.

  15. Bonita Forster says:

    I’m looking for the words to a bathroom saying but only can remember a few phrases

    Welcome folks the bathroom’s yours
    don’t forget to close the door

    pull down the shade if you should scrub
    don’t forget to wash the tub

    Can you help me find the complete saying?????

    and then lots more to this

    • jodi says:

      I am looking tor that too. I remember your lines exactly like you do.At the end it says something like….something about. …..If you hear noise..,.THEN GET OUT QUICK…..START MAKING TRACKS ..BUT STOP TO FLUSH BERORE YOU GO….

    • Sandra Henkel-Johnson says:

      This was a poem that my grandparents used to have hanging in their bathroom in the mid 1960’s, but it was older than that. I loved it so much as a kid that I memorized it, and even recited it to my 5th grade class. To the best of my recollection it went:

      Welcome folks, the bathroom’s yours,
      But don’t forget to shut the doors.
      Pull down the shades if you should scrub,
      Then be polite, wash out the tub.
      Don’t leave yer dirty socks about,
      Feel free to suds your panties out.
      Just ask for anything you need, whether you crave to sit and read, trim your corns or wash your feet or simply occupy the seat.
      The bathroom’a yours so just relax, till someone else starts making tracks.
      Then get out quick and don’t be slow, but stop……flush before you go.

      • joe says:

        That’s it! I didn’t see your comment when I made mine below…. obviously I forgot some of it.

    • joe says:

      I remember having this sign in our rec room bathroom over 50 years ago:
      Welcome folks, the bathroom’s yours.
      Pull down the shades if you should scrub,
      then be polite, wash out the tub.
      The bathroom’s yours, so just relax
      ’till someone else starts makin’ tracks.
      Then git out quick, and don’t be slow…
      but stop to flush before you go.
      – – – – – – – – –
      We had another next to the door going into that bathroom, but I can’t remember all of it:

      If the door is locked inside,
      then you’re too late, it’s occupied.
      Just give the knob a shake or tow
      and tell them how things are with you.
      And if that doesn’t make ’em hop,
      we’ll gladly furnish you a mop

  16. Darrell says:

    It’s not a Recliner,
    Put the lid down

  17. LESA PUCKETT says:


  18. James says:

    As I write upon these walls I roll my shit into little balls, those who can read these words of wit can eat my little balls of shit

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