Funny Cooking Quotes Sayings

Funny Quotes on Cooking and Cooks
A skinny cook can’t be trusted !
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A watched pot never boils…
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Annoying the cook will result in smaller portions.
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Complaints to the Cook…can be hazardous to your health !

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Got more time for misbehavin’….since I started microwaving…!!
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Hey good lookin’……what’s cookin’..???

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HOME COOKING

Like Mother used to do

before cigarettes and soap operas.

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Kitchen closed due to illness:  I am sick of COOKING !!

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I am not a fast cook,

I am not a slow cook,

I am a half-fast cook.

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I came…I saw….I decided to order take out !
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I cook with wine…Sometimes I even put it in the food !
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I don’t cook on days that end in Y ….
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I kiss better than I cook…!!
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I made my favorite thing for dinner….a reservation.
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I never met a cookie I didn’t like!

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I only like two kinds of pie:

hot ones and cold ones!

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I would cook dinner but I

can’t find the can opener !

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If God wanted me to cook,

why did he invent restaurants ???

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If yer lookin’ for home cookin’…..Go home !!!
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If you don’t like my cooking, lower your standards.

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If you want breakfast in bed …

sleep in the kitchen.

Bed and Breakfast…. you make both.

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It’s milk and cookie time!!
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Just say NO to cookin’….
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Kiss the cook !!

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My family eats from all of the food groups.

Fast, Frozen, Canned and Microwaveable…!!

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My favorite recipe…..eat out !!
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My favorite recipe….order in !!

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My wife treats me like a god;

I get a burnt offering at every meal.

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Never…ever…trust a skinny cook !!!
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Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.

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Only the pure of heart can make good soup!!!!!

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Open the oven, take a look;

first to complain…

is next week’s cook !!

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She who cooks, never cleans !
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The perfect food would taste as good as fresh popcorn smells !
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The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

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Today’s Menu:

Take it or Leave it…!!

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Too many cooks…Spoil the broth.
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When I learned how to cook…I forgot how to clean !!

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4 Responses to Funny Cooking Quotes Sayings

  1. Hanoz Viraf Messman says:

    rate: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2

    ‎’Fish, to taste right, must swim three times — in water, in butter and in wine.’

  2. Amy Dodd Gonzales says:

    rate: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

    If we are what we eat, then I’m fast, cheap and easy!

  3. Bryony says:

    rate: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    I don’t cook on weekdays, and I order in on weekends…

  4. Bryony says:

    rate: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Please sir, may I have some more?

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