Funny Husband Wife Quotes Sayings

A husband is a lover who pushed his luck too far !!

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A husband is living proof

that a wife can take a joke !

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A husband is someone who takes out the trash

and give the impression he just cleaned the whole house !!

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Anyone looking for a husband obviously never had one !

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Beware of dog….oh wait….that’s just my husband !

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Do you want the man of the house

or the woman who knows everything?

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Ex-Husband is the BEST husband !

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Give your husband an inch and he’ll think he’s a ruler !

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Hang on to your husband.

He might come back in fashion.

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Husband and Dog missing…25 cent reward for dog.

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Husband for Sale…remote included !

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I got a cat for my husband. I think it was a fair trade.

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I love a man with dishpan hands !

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I miss my ex-husband…but my aim is getting better !

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If a husband would treat his wife as though

she were a thoroughbred…

she’d never turn into an old nag!!!

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If more husbands were self starters,

They’re wife wouldn’t have to be a crank !

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If we can send one man to the moon…

why can’t we send them all !

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I’m the boss of the house

and I have my wife’s permission to say so !!

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Man is the king of his castle…but only until his queen comes home.

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Men are idiots

and I married their KING !

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My hubby says he is going to leave

if I keep spending so much time on the computer.

I am sure going to miss him!

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My husband always says…I’m saving us into the poorhouse !!

My husband let’s me have all the craft supplies I can hide !!

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My husband wears the pants in the family…

I just tell him which ones to wear !!

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My husband’s the only kid in our house

that’ll never grow up

and will never leave the house.

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My NEXT husband will be normal.

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My wife and I have an agreement.

I don’t try to run her life

and I don’t try to run mine.

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I usually wake up grumpy,

but sometimes I let him sleep in.

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My husband said if I went shopping again,

he’d leave me.

WHY didn’t somebody tell me it was that easy !?!

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The opinions expressed by the husband in this house

are not necessarily those of the management.

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The perfect wife is one who doesn’t expect a perfect husband.

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One Response to Funny Husband Wife Quotes Sayings

  1. Rob says:

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 2

    The other day my wife told me to take out the garbage…
    I told her “You take it out… You cooked it!”

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