Old Age Quotes

Funny Old Age Quotes and quotes about turning old

A little gray hair is a small price to pay

for all this accumulated wisdom.
~~~
Age before beauty.
~~~
Age does not determine who’s right,

it only determines who’s left!
~~~
Age is a matter of mind

and if you don’t mind

it don’t matter !!

~~

Age is a number, old is in your head.

Age is a number, and mine is unlisted.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
~~~
Age is like fine wine….

it gets better with time !!
~~~
Age isn’t important unless you’re cheese.

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.
~~~
At fifty a woman is

every young mans dream girl.

We don’t swell; we don’t tell; we are as grateful as hell.

Not quite over the hill yet.

Just got a darn good view of the valley below.
~~~
At my age…

I’ve got achy, breaky everything !!
~~~
At my age…

I’ve seen it all…I’ve heard it all…

I’ve done it all….

I just can’t remember it all…
~~~
Beautiful young people are acts of nature,

but beautiful old people

are works of art.
~~~
Better to have bad breath than no breath at all !!
~~~
Birthday’s are good for you.

The more you have the longer you live.
~~~
Born in the USA…..a long time ago !!
~~~
By the time you reach middle age,

you’ve already met so many people

that every new acquaintance reminds

you of someone else.
~~~
Classic, Genuine, Antique Person…

They just don’t make ’em like this anymore!!
~~~
Count your life by smiles, not tears.

Count your age by friends, not years.
~~~
Do not regret growing old….it is a privilege denied many…!

Don’t let an old person crawl into your body !

Enjoy getting older, the alternative is death ~!~

Ever stop to think…And forget to start again?

Few people know how to be old.

50 is the age of discovery….you discover you’re old!!!

50 – something…….and loving it!
~~~
50 year old–one owner

Needs parts, make offer
~~~
50 !!!!

That’s dead in dog years !!
~~~
First, I was a good BOY,

Then, I became a nice KID,

I was then a great GUY,

Later, I grew up to be a fine MAN,

Now, I’m just an old FART !!
~~~
Forty is the old age of youth;

Fifty is the youth of old age.

(Victor Hugo)
~~~
Forty isn’t old…

IF you’re a tree !!
~~~
Fifty is Nifty  !!!
~~~
Geezer……formerly known as “Stud Muffin”…
~~~
Growing old is mandatory…

Growing up is optional !
~~~
How am I feeling?

I’m still on the right side of the grass.

( this was sent in by a visitor to this site who heard

this from a 60+ year old friend who had been ill )
~~~
I am not young enough to know everything !!!
~~~
I am old enough to sleep by myself

and young enough not to want to have to.
~~~
I have a photographic memory.

Unfortunately, it no longer offers

same day service.
~~~
I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
~~~
I look in the mirror and what do I see,

but little wrinkles creeping up on me!
~~~
I’d rather be over the hill than under it.
~~~
If life begins at 40….

What ended at 39 ???
~~~
If you can afford to go First Class and don’t….

your heirs will !
~~~
If you carry your childhood with you…

you’ll never become older.
~~~
If you wait,

all that happens is that you get older!
~~~
I’m entering the “metallic years”…

silver in my hair, gold in my teeth

and lead in my bottom !!
~~~
I’m just a 16 year old girl,

locked in an old ladies body !
~~~
I’m not 40….

I’m 18 with 22 years of experience !
~~~
I’m not aging, I just need repotted.

I’m not aging….I’m marinating !!

I’m not as old as I used to be.

I’m not getting older, I’m getting bitter.

I’m not old….I’m a recycled teenager !!

I’m not old…I’ve just been young a very long time !!

I’m 39  1/2…(and that’s my final answer !)
~~~
In order to be old and wise,

one must once be young and stupid.
~~~
Inside every older person

is a young person

wondering what the hell happened !
~~~
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
~~~
It used to be wine, women and song…

now it’s beer, the old lady and TV !!
~~~
It was spring, But it was summer I wanted,

The warm days, And the great outdoors.

It was summer, But it was fall I wanted,

The colorful leaves, And the cool, dry air.

It was fall, But it was winter I wanted,

The beautiful snow, And the joy of the season.

It was winter, But it was spring I wanted,

The warmth, And the blossoming of nature.

I was a child, But it was adulthood I wanted,

The freedom, And the respect.

I was 20, But it was 30 I wanted,

To be mature, And sophisticated.

I was middle aged, But it was 20 I wanted,

The youth, And the free spirit.

I was retired, But it was middle age I wanted,

The presence of mind, Without limitations.

My life was over.

But I never got what I wanted.

(written by a 13 yr old boy named Josh Lehman)
~~~
It’s better to wear out than to rust out!

It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser…
~~~
It’s frustrating when you know all the answers,

but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
~~~
I’ve got a good memory….but it’s short !!
~~~
Middle age is when broadness of the mind

and narrowness of the waist change places.
~~~
Middle age is when the kids leave one by one…

only to return…two by two!!
~~~
Middle age is when you choose your cereal

for the fiber…..not the toy !!!
~~~
Middle age is when your narrow waist

and broad mind begin changing places.
~~~
My body has reached the age

where it either hangs out, falls out

or darn well wears out.
~~~
My mind wanders a lot but fortunately it’s too weak to go very far.

Never Be The First To Get Old!!!!!

Of all the things I’ve lost…I miss my mind the most !
~~~
Old Age and Treachery

Beat Youth and Vigor.
~~~
Old age comes at a bad time.
~~~
Old age is NOT for sissy’s !!

(Art Linkletter)
~~~
Once you’re over the hill….you pick up speed !
~~~
Over 40 and still cookin’…!!

Over the Hill…pickin’ up up speed !!
~~~
Please understand that no matter how old I get…

I will always be a kid at heart…
~~~
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it !!
~~~
Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to

forget the people I never liked anyway…

the good fortune to run into the ones that I do…

and the eyesight to tell the difference.
~~~
Sex after 60

is like shooting pool with a rope.
~~~
Some people, not matter how old they get,

never lose their beauty…

they merely move it from their faces

to their hearts.
~~~
The best part about waking up

is finding your teeth

are still in the cup!
~~~
The hardest part of growing older

is remembering when you were young.
~~~
The heart is the real fountain of youth.

The heart that gives love….is always young !!

The older I get, the better I used to be.

The older I get, the better I was.
~~~
The surprising thing about young fools

is how many survive to become old fools !
~~~
There’s no fool like an old fool !
~~~
To be 70 years young is sometimes for more

cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.

(Oliver Wendell Holmes)
~~~
We are always the same age inside.

(Gertrude Stein)
~~~
We do not stop laughing because we grow old;

we grow old because we stop laughing.
~~~
We do not stop playing because we grow old.

We grow old because we stop playing.
~~~
We don’t have crow’s feet….

We have laugh lines !!
~~~
We turn not older with years,

but newer every day.

(Emily Dickinson)
~~~
We’re all getting older at the same rate of speed.

We just got started at different times.
~~~
Welcome

Friends Anytime…

Relatives…By Appointment

(Sent in by visitor to site…she saw this on the door of a retirement home)
~~~
When did my wild oats….turn into shredded wheat??

When you stop to think, don’t stay parked !!

Why should I grow up??….this is more fun !!
~~~
Wrinkled was not one of the things

I wanted to be

when I grew up !!
~~~
Wrinkles are antique smiles…!
~~~
You can only be young once

but you can be immature forever !!
~~~
You know you are getting old when

everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt

doesn’t work…!
~~~
You know you are getting old when…

“Happy Hour” turns out to be a nap !!
~~~
You know you’re getting old when it takes you all night,

to do what you used to do all night !!
~~~
You know you’re getting old

when you sink your teeth into an apple

and they stay there..!!
~~~
You know you’re getting old….

when your back goes out more often than you do !!!
~~~
You know you’re old when you can’t get your rocking chair started..!
~~~
You know you are getting old

when it feels like the morning after

and you haven’t been anywhere.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you look forward to a DULL evening.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when the best part of the day

is over when the alarm goes off.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when the little old gray-haired lady you

helped across the street is your wife.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you get winded playing chess.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you go into the next room

to get something, and

can’t remember what you came for.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you have too much room in the house

and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you know all the right answers but

no one asks the right questions.
~~~
You know you are getting old when you

look into the mirror and are shocked to

see that “old person”

looking back at you.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when the gleam in your eyes is from the

sun hitting your bifocals.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you move your bed closer to the bathroom

because you spend half your night there anyway.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you relate to everything on this page.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you remember when

Queen Elizabeth was a Princess.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when you tend to repeat yourself…

tend to repeat yourself.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when your children begin to look middle-aged.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when your friends don’t ask how you fell

but where you hurt.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when your pacemaker opens the garage door

when you see a pretty girl.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
~~~
You know you are getting old

when your little black book contains

only names ending in M.D.
~~~
You know you are old when your

doctor is the same age as your grandson.
~~~
You know you are getting old when your doctor

is the same age as your cookie sheets!
~~~
You know your old when your

youngest starts collecting Social Security !!
~~~
You know you’re gettin’ old when

you’re not as good as you once was but….

your as good once…as you once was.
~~~
You know you are growing old

when you find yourself

laughing at this  list !!
~~~
You know you are old when

your doctor look like

Doogie Howser.
~~~
You may not be able to turn back the clock,

but you can wind it up again !
~~~
Young at heart,

slightly older in other places !!
~~~
You’re getting old when you get the same sensation

from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
~~~
You’re never too old to enjoy your childhood.
~~~
You’re not old…you’re chronologically gifted…!!

You’re only young once but you can be immature forever !!
~~~
Youth is a gift of nature.

Middle Age is a work of art !!
~~~
Youth is wasted on the YOUNG !!