Chasing Amy Movie Quotes
Banky (Jason Lee): Archie, all right. Archie and the Riverdale gang were a pure and fun lovin’ bunch. You can’t find dysfunction in those comics, they were just flat out wholesome.
Hooper: Archie and Jughead were lovers.
Banky: Shut the f up!
Hooper: It’s true. Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That’s why Jughead wears that crown, looking hot all the time. He’s the King of Queen Archie’s world.
Banky: I feel a hate crime comin’ on.
Banky: You’re insane. Archie is NOT f king Mr. Weatherbee!
Hooper: Deny, deny, deny.
Holden (Ben Affleck): So, uh, what do you want to do tonight?
Banky: I don’t know get a pizza, watch Degrassi Junior High.
Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
Banky: I got a weird thing for girls that say “aboot.”
Banky: Since you like chicks, right…do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?
[Holden returning Alyssa’s page.]
Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams): One minute and five seconds, you are such my bitch.
Holden: I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You’re the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being.I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship-no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this way before. And, I don’t care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And you know, I’ll accept that. But I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. And all I ask please is that you just not dismiss that. And try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn’t another soul on this f king planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me, you can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.
Holden: If this is a crush…I don’t know if I could take it if the real thing ever happened.
Banky: This is all going to end badly.
Holden: You don’t know that.
Banky: I know you. You’re way too conservative for that girl. She’s been around and seen things we’ve only read about in books.
Holden: But we have read about them. So we’re prepared.
Holden: Banky doesn’t hate gays, you know that.
Hooper: But I do think he is a bit homophobic. And this latest episode between you and Ms. Thing has tapped into that. In his warped perception, he lost you to the darkside-which is she.
Holden: You make it sound like me and him were dating.
Hooper: Don’t kid yourself, that boy loves you in a way that he ain’t ready to deal with.
Holden: I want us to be something that we can’t be.
Alyssa: And what’s that?
Holden: A normal couple.
Jay (Jason Mewes): So why the long face, Horace? Banky on the rag?
Holden: Just having a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin’ charges? I get that a lot.
Silent Bob (Kevin Smith): You’re chasing Amy.
Jay: What do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just ’cause he don’t say anything, it’ll have some huge impact when he does open his fkin’ mouth.
Silent Bob: Jesus Christ, why don’t you shut up? Always yap, yap, yapping, all the time. Give me a fkin’ headache.
I went through something like you’re talking about a couple of years ago. This chick named Amy…
Silent Bob: A couple of years ago.
Jay: Did she live in Canada or something? Why don’t I remember?
Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don’t know about me I can just about squeeze into the Grand king Canyon. Did you know that I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?
Jay: Tell your f kin’ story so we can get out of here and smoke this.
Silent Bob: So, there’s me and Amy and we’re all inseparable, right? Just big time in love and then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in and I ask about the ex-boyfriend, which as we all know is a really dumb move. But you know how it is you, don’t wanna know, you just have to know, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So anyway, she starts telling me about him, how they fell in love and how they went out for a couple of years and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I’m okay, but then she drops the bomb on me and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times while they were going out, he brought home some people to bed with them, menage a trois, I believe it is called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic for God’s sake.
Jay: Saint Shithead.
Silent Bob: Do something.
So, I’m totally weirded out by this right? And I just start blasting her, like I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling. So I figure the best way is if I call her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I’m out for blood, I really want to hurt this girl. I’m like what the is your problem, right? And she’s just all calmly trying to tell me like it was that time and it was that place and she doesn’t think she should apologize because she doesn’t feel she’s done anything wrong. And I’m like, oh really? That’s when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it’s over. I walk.
Jay: F kin’ A.
Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn’t disgusted with her, I was afraid and at that moment, I felt small, like I’d lacked experience. Like I’d never be on her level. Like I’d never be enough for her or something like that. You know what I’m saying? But what I did not get, she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy anymore, she was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I figured this all out, it was too late. She moved on and all I have to show for it was some foolish pride which then gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now, but I pushed her away. So, I’ve spent everyday since then, chasing Amy…so to speak.