[Charles comes running after Carrie]
Charles (Hugh Grant): Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and…, particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I’ve only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered… ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, “I think I love you,” and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn’t like to… Eh… Eh… No, no, no of course not… I’m an idiot, he’s not… Excellent,
excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb… Better get on…
Carrie (Andie McDowell): That was very romantic.
Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.
Charles: How do you do, my name is Charles.
Old man: Don’t be ridiculous, Charles died 20 years ago!
Charles: Must be a different Charles, I think.
Old man: Are you telling me I don’t know my own brother!
Charles: No, no.
[Carrie asks Charles’ opinion on her wedding dress.]
Charles: It is dangerous! You know, there’s nothing more off-putting in a wedding than a
priest with an enormous erection, Yech!
Scarlett: They say rubber’s mainly for perverts. Don’t know why. Think it’s very practical, actually. I mean, you spill anything on it and it just comes off. I suppose that could be why the perverts like it.
Tom: I always just hoped that, that I’d meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn’t make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.
Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you.