Grandma: How’s that nice girlfriend of yours?
Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): Oh, she got hit by a car. She’s dead.
Grandma: Sir, could I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps put me to sleep.
The Nursing Home Orderly (Ben Stiller): You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. You’re in my world now, Grandma. Check out the name tag.
Happy: Hey, my girlfriend’s dead, you know. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.
Shooter McGavin: Just stay out of my way, or you’ll pay. Listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore: How ’bout I just go and eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, and lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?
Gilmore to Bob Barker: The price is wrong, bitch!
Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy: You eat pieces of sh it for breakfast?