Heather McNamara: It’s your turn Heather.
Heather Chandler (Kim Walker): No Heather, it’s Heather’s turn. Heather?
Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder): Dear Diary, Heather told me she teaches people real life. She said, “Real life sucks losers dry, if you want to fk with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.” I said, “So, you teach people how to spread your wings and fly?” She said, “Yes.” I said, “You’re beautiful!”
Heather Chandler: Such a pillow case.
Heather Chandler: Grow up, Heather, bulimia is so ’87.
JD (Christian Slater): Greetings and salutations.
Veronica: How very.
Heather Chandler: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
Veronica: Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads. Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west. Wait…East. West. God, I sound like a f king psycho!
Heather Chandler: You stupid f !
Veronica: You goddamn bitch!
Heather Chandler: You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbie’s with Betty Finn. You were a blue bird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout cookie. I got you into a Remington Party and what’s my thanks? It’s on the hallway carpet. I got paid in puke!
Veronica: Lick it up baby. Lick…it…up!
Heather Chandler: Monday morning you’re history. I’ll tell everyone about tonight. Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerburg’s gonna let you play their reindeer games.
Veronica: I say we just grow up, be adults and die.
JD: Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination. Our love is god…let’s go get a slushie.
Ram’s father: My son’s a homosexual and I love him. I love my dead gay son!
Veronica: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count!
Veronica: Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain. I don’t know what it’s given me, but I’ve got no control over myself when I’m with J.D. Are we going to prom or to hell?
JD: Chaos is great! Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling! submitted by Stewart
Veronica: If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human being…you’d be a game show host.
Heather Duke (Shannen Doherty): Color me stoked girl. I’ve gotten everyone to sign this petition, even the ones who think Big Fun are tuneless Eurofags. People love me.
Veronica: Why are you such a megabitch?
Heather Duke: Because I can be.
Heather Duke: Veronica, why are you pulling my private part?
JD: I like it. It’s got that it’s-a-cruel-world-let’s-throw-ourselves-in-the-abyss type ambiance.
JD: The society nods it head at any horror the American teenager can think to bring upon itself! submitted by Stewart
Veronica: He once told me, the extreme always make an impression.
JD: I can’t believe you really did it, I was teasing. I loved you. Sure, I was coming up here to kill you but first I was going to try and get you back with my amazing petition. It’s a shame you can’t see what our fellow students really signed. All right, listen. We students of Westerburg High will die. Today our burning bodies will be the ultimate protest to a society that degrades us. It’s not very subtle, but neither is blowing up a whole school now is it? Talk about your suicide pacts, huh? When our school blows up tomorrow, it’s gonna be the kind of thing to infect a generation. I mean, it’s gonna be a Woodstock for the 80s. Dammit Veronica. We could have toasted marshmallows together.
JD: The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.
Veronica [after shooting J.D.]: You know what I want, Babe? Cool guys like you out of my life.
JD: Now that you’re dead, what are you going to do with your life?
Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.
Veronica: Yeah? I just got back.
Veronica: Heather, my love, there’s a new sheriff in town.