Michele (Lisa Kudrow): You know, even though we’ve watched Pretty Woman like thirty-six times, I never get tired of making fun of it.
Michele: Did you lose weight?
Romy (Mira Sorvino): Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I’ve had to eat for the past six days gummi bears, jelly beans, and candy corn.
Michele: Wow! I wish I had your discipline.
[The secret of her cigarette paper invention.]
Heather Mooney (Janeane Garofalo): Twice the taste in half the time for the gal on the go.
[discussing the reunion]
Romy: Are you going?
Heather: [holding a cigarette] I’d rather put this out in my rear
Romy: I guess I won’t be seeing you at the reunion, but I’ll tell everyone you said, “Hi!”
Heather: Why don’t you tell everyone I said to go f k themselves for making my teen years a living hell.
Michele: You know, even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kind of fat, we were still totally cutting edge.
Romy: I was so lucky to get mono. That was the best diet ever!
Michele: You look so good with blonde hair and black roots its like not even funny.
Romy: Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.
Romy: I’ve been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
Michele: That’s impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?
Michele: I’m the Mary and you’re the Rhoda.
Romy: You have absolutely no proof that you’re cuter.
Michele: Oh, proof. You want proof? O.K. fine. Who lost their virginity first?
Romy: Oh, big wow, with you cousin Barry. I wouldn’t brag about it.
Michele: I hope your babies look like monkeys!
Heather: If you f k with me in any way, I will rip each and ever appendage from your body starting with your privatepart. Capice?
Romy: Heather, um, has anyone ever told you that smoking can kill you?
Heather: No. No one. Thank you.
Heather: This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.