If you want to meet an average nice guy, purposely leave your iPhone on airport security
Go shit in your hand.
Who brought the good news bear, somebody should give her some ******* honey
Just admit that you ejaculated on your pants and everything will be okay
Having your friend shave your balls is not gay.
Sometimes, girls fall for guys just because they’re nice
Patty’s not a bitch, she’s uh… different.
The beast was ugly but had a beautiful voice
If you’re a 5 and she’s a 10, her ex boyfriend will assume you are gay