Stripes Movie Quotes

John Winger Quotes from Stripe

* “WINGER:” That’s my philosophy, a $100 shine on a $3 pair of boots.

* “LADY IN CAB:” I’ve never gone this way before.
“WINGER:” Well, I’m sure there’s a lot of ways I’ve gone, that you haven’t.

* “WINGER:” Actually I’m a photographer. I took this job because I love people. There’s nothing I enjoy more than meeting someone like yourself and getting to know you and then taking a few action photos of you while I drive.

* “LADY IN CAB:” Aren’t you going too fast?
“WINGER:” Oh, it’s not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn’t drunk all that cough syrup this morning, ya’ know. speaker (87 K .wav)

* “ANITA:” .. then you watch movies until dawn and then, then you come to bed with me.
“WINGER:” You’re a sexual dynamo. Most guys couldn’t even handle you. I’ve been reading books on the outside just so I can keep up with you!

* (as Anita is leaving him)
“WINGER:” You can’t go .. all the plants are gonna’ die! speaker (30 K .wav)

* (after losing his job, car, apartment and girlfriend all in the same day)
“WINGER:” And then depression set in. speaker (25 K .wav)

* “WINGER:” I gotta’ dry out or I’ll be dead before I’m thirty. The army is my only chance.
“RUSSELL:” You could join a monastery.
“WINGER:” Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls?

* “STORE OWNER:” Hey, this is a loading zone. You can’t park here.
“WINGER:” We’re not parking it, we’re abandoning it.

* “RUSSELL:” No were not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.
“WINGER:” Yeah, would they send us someplace special?

“SGT. HULKA:” You don’t call me sir, I still work for a living!
“ALL:” YES SERGEANT!!
“SGT. HULKA:” I DIDN’T HEAR YOU!!
“ALL:” YES SERGEANT!!
“WINGER:” Don’t you think this guy is overdoing it a bit?

* “SOLDIER” Boxer or jockey?
“WINGER:” Ya’ got something in a low rise bikini, mesh if possible?

* “SGT. HULKA:” You know something soldier .. I’ve noticed you’re always last.
“WINGER:” I’m pacing myself sergeant.

* “WINGER:” Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it is usually something unusual.

* “WINGER:” Lee Harvey! YOU are a MAD MAN! When you stole that cow .. and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you cowboy! The two of us together, forget it!

* “WINGER:” I’m gonna’ volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot .. without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka isn’t always gonna’ be there to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest bestest buddy .. and big toe, Sergeant Hulka.

* “WINGER:” I know I’m speaking for the entire platoon, when I say that this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested.

* “WINGER:” Sergeant I think it’s a bad idea to march today. You know this is the cold and flu season. speaker (57 K .wav)

* “OX:” It doesn’t seem fair.
“WINGER:” Fair??!! Who cares about fair??!! The world isn’t fair! … Is it fair that you were born like this?! No! They’re not expecting somebody like you in there. … You’re different! You’re weird! You’re a mutant! You’re a killer! You’re a trained killer! You’re a …
“WINGER & OX:” LEAN MEAN FIGHTING MACHINE!!

* “WINGER:” You know what the rest of your problem is? … You’ve never had anybody give you the Aunt Jemimah treatment! speaker (54 K .wav)

* “WINGER:” We’re Americans .. with a capital ‘A’, huh. You know what that means? Do ya’? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.

* “WINGER:” So we’re all dog-faces. We’re all very very different. But there is one thing that we all have in common, we were ALL stupid enough to enlist in the Army! speaker (118 K .wav)

* “WINGER:” Something seriously wrong with us. We’re soldiers, .. but, we’re American soldiers, and we’ve been kicking ass for 200 years! We’re ten and one! speaker (126 K .wav)

* “WINGER:” Boom Chugga Lugga Lugga!! Boom Chugga Lugga Lugga!! Boom Chugga Lugga Lugga Boom!!

* “GENERAL:” So, am I to understand that you men completed your training on your own?
“WINGER:” That’s the fact Jack!!
“PLATOON:” That’s the fact Jack!! speaker (89 K .wav)

* “WINGER:” Come on it’s Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick them up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like going into Wisconsin. speaker (95 K .wav)

* “WINGER:” They got one big gun. They got a couple of tanks. They got a hundred Barishnikovs running around in Ichiwan outfits.
“RUSSELL:” Yeah, what do we got?
“WINGER:” We got? What do we got? What are you talking about? We got one heavily armed recreational vehicle here, ma

Duey “Ox” Oxberger Quotes

* “OX:” Excuse me stewardess, is there a movie on this flight?

* (getting off the bus at Ft. Arnold)
“OX:” Hope this is the mess hall. (to Hulka) How’s it going Eisenhower?

* “CRUISER:” My hobbies are fast cars and fast women because uh.. that’s why my.. the guys in my car club call me the “cruiser”.
“OX:” Should have called him the dork!!

* “OX:” You might have noticed that I’ve got a slight weight problem.
“EVERYONE:” NOOOO!! NOOOO!!
“OX:” I went to this doctor. He told me I swallow a lot of aggression .. along with a lot of pizzas.

* “OX:” Well, I didn’t have the money. Then I thought to myself, join the army .. it’s free.

* “OX:” I’m going to walk out of here a lean mean fighting machine!

* (after Sgt. Hulka is blown up)
“OX:” Sergeant, does this mean we’re through for the day?

* “CRUISER:” Maybe I should fold.
“OX:” Well let me see. Let me see first. (Cruiser shows him his hand) No. No. not with a hand like that. Come on dare me. Go on bluff me. Come on.
“CRUISER:” How much should I bet?
“OX:” If it were me, I’d bet everything, but that’s me aggressive gambler, Mr. Vegas.

Russell Ziskey Quotes

* “WINGER:” In the last two hours, .. I’ve lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend.
“RUSSELL:” You still have your health. speaker

* “RUSSELL:” (counting pushups) That’s .. three. I think your ready for the Special Olympics.

* “RUSSELL:” No, we’re not homosexual, but we are willing to learn. speaker

* “RUSSELL:” I don’t know what kinda’ soldier I’m gonna make, but I want you guys to know if we ever get into any real heavy combat, I’ll be right behind you guys .. every step of the way.

* “RUSSELL:” No. No. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. I’ll still respect you. I’ll respect you even more. Just use more whipped cream.

* “RUSSELL:” What’s everybody so down about? Didn’t everybody make it with a beautiful MP tonight, huh?

* “RUSSELL:” Your left! Your left! Your left! Your left! Come on, rhythym. Hup two three four. Black guys help the white guys.

* “RUSSELL:” Do the words ‘act of war’ mean anything to you, huh?
“WINGER:” I have a plan.
“RUSSELL:” Great, Custer had a plan, too. speaker

* “RUSSELL:” No, no, no, no questions please, we just want to get back to our hotel rooms and have some really serious sex. speaker

“Captain Stillman: (John Larroquette)”

* “STILLMAN:” Oh god look at that, wash off the soap. That’s right, Wash.. Oh. .. Look at that. Bend over, drop the soap. Oh, good tits. Good. Oh god, I wish I was a loofah! speaker
* “STILLMAN:” Okay soldier, let’s see how you fire that weapon.
“SOLDIER:” What coordinates sir?
“STILLMAN:” Coordinates??!!
“SOLDIER:” Yes, sir, they determine where the missile will land.
“STILLMAN:” The only way to find anything out is to do it, now fire the weapon!

“Cruiser:”

* “CRUISER:” I joined the army cause my father and my brother were in the army. I thought I better join before I get drafted.
“SGT. HULKA:” Son there ain’t no draft no more.
“CRUISER:” There was one?

“Francis “Psycho” Sawyer:”

* “PSYCHO:” The name is Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis and I’ll kill ya’. speaker

* “PSYCHO:” Now, any of you homos .. touch me .. and I’ll kill ya’. speaker

* “PSYCHO:” You just made the list buddy.

* “CRUISER:” I guess we’re going after John and Russell. I can’t believe they’re Russian spies, can you?
“PSYCHO:” All I know is, I finally get to kill somebody.

“Immigrant:”

* “RUSSELL:” Yes, you speak some English?
“IMMIGRANT:” Son of bitch. Shit.
“CLASS:” Son of bitch. Shit. speaker

“Louise: (Sean Young)”

* “RUSSELL:” What happens if I refuse to get on the bus?
“LOUISE:” You look like a sensitive, intelligent guy. .. Don’t make me shoot you. speaker

“Sergeant Hulka:”

* “SGT. HULKA:” Cause I’m gonna teach every last one of you .. how to eat, sleep, WALK, TALK, SHOOT, SHIT like a United States Soldier! speaker

* “SGT. HULKA:” So you better hit them bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the big toe is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass! speaker

* “PSYCHO:” Now, any of you homos .. touch me .. and I’ll kill ya’.
“SGT. HULKA:” Lighten up, Francis! speaker

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