Angela: So I started hanging out with Rayanne Graff. Just for fun. Just cause it seemed like if I didn’t, I would die or something. Things were getting to me. Just how people are. How they always expect you to be a certain way…even your best friend.
Angela: School is a battlefield, for your heart. So when Rayanne Graff told me my hair was holding me back, I had to listen. ‘Cause she wasn’t just talking about my hair. She was talking about my life.
Angela: It just seems like, you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know it’s even you?
Brian: You’re not stupid, don’t act like it. It’s a stupid act.
Angela: Everybody’s an act. Including you.
Rayanne: Haven’t you ever waited for anything?
Rickie: Yeah, for my life to start.
Rickie: If you were about to do it, okay, what would you want the other person to say, like, right before.
Rayanne: `This won’t take long.’
Rickie: No, seriously.
Rayanne: `Don’t I know you?’
Rickie: No, for real, like, like, romantic.
Angela: `You’re so beautiful, it hurts to look at you.’
Rayanne: `It hurts to look at you?’
Rickie: How’d you think of that?
Rayanne: Where would it hurt?
Rickie: I really like that.
Angela: Something was actually happening, but it was too actual.
Rayanne: I knew what I was doing back there, you know.
Rayanne: I’ll always watch out for you, ‘kay. I’ll always be there for you, so, don’t worry, ‘kay?
Angela: I won’t.
Rayanne: And, you know, with your hair like that? It hurts to look at you.
Rayanne: So, Catalano. So, Tino says you can get my girlfriend a fake ID.
Jordan: So? So could Tino…
Rayanne: Oh yeah, well, see, ah, he does me so many favors I feel like I’m wearing him thin. Kinda with that out of state look? Like from uh, Georgia or something? My girlfriend really needs one. Angela? It’s like an emergency.
Jordon: Why doesn’t she ask for herself?
Rayanne: Well that’s a long story. She’s uh… French! She’s from France.
Jordon: Get outta here.
Rayanne: Seriously. And with certain words she’ll like forget how to pronounce ’em, or something. It’s like a mental block type of thing.
Jordon: That girl I see you with…
Rayanne: Angela. Chase.
Rayanne: Well she was born there, I mean she hasn’t lived there in quite a while. She’s a US citizen and all.
Angela: I bet people can actually die of embarrassment. I bet it’s been medically proven.
Angela: What I like, dread, is when people who know you in completely different ways end up in the same area. And you have to develop, this like, combination you, on the spot.
Angela: I can’t take this. I feel sick.
Rayanne: Look, I was there.
Rickie: And I was practically there from hearing it so many times.
Rayanne: And he is definitely semi-interested.
Angela: So you think he…
Rayanne: I think part of him is partly interested in you. Definitely. I mean, he’s got other things on his mind.
Angela: But that’s the part that’s so unfair. I have nothing else on my mind. How come I have to be the one sitting around analyzing him in like microscopic detail, and he gets to be the one with other things on his mind.
Rickie: That is deep.
Angela: I couldn’t believe how long it had been since I had been inside Brian Krakow’s house. Considering how many hours I spent here when I was little. It smelled exactly the same which was reassuring, and annoying. Sort of like Brian himself.
Rickie: She’s not saying that she…
Angela: I’m not saying…see there’s thinking about him, right? Which is what I do…all the time. Like this…
Rayanne: Right. So?
Angela: So, it keeps me going or something. Like I need it just to get through the day. It…It’s just
Rickie: It’s an obsession.
Angela: Right. And, and if you make it real, it’s it’s not the same. It’s not, it’s not yours anymore. I don’t know, maybe I’d rather have the fantasy than even him.
Rickie: I completely understand that.
Rayanne: I totally and completely disagree. You want Jordan Catalano in actuality because…there is no because. You just want him. Only you’re programmed to never admit it.
Rickie: That does have the ring of truth.
[Angela comes out of Krakow’s house and walks toward Jordan’s car]
Dance Instructor: Lots of people, they try so hard. They can’t hear the music. Then, they start to feel lost. So they wanna look down. Don’t look down. It will throw you off balance, and you’ll lose your footing. So, look straight ahead, look right into your partner’s eyes, and remember to smile.
[In Jordan’s car]
Angela: What’s amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere. Your life just figured out how to get good. Like, that second.
Angela: I have to say that when my father warms something up, it tastes better than when anyone else does.
Graham: It’s ok to like someone, but I mean, boys your age, can sometimes…
Angela: Dad, I know. Can sometimes what?
Graham: Can sometimes not know how to be what you want them to be.
Angela : It’s such a lie that you should do what’s in your heart. If we all did what was in our heart, the world would grind to a halt.
Angela : It’s weird how something has to happen sometimes to see how you actually feel about something.
Angela: When you’re not sure you trust a person anymore, say a person you really trusted, say your father, you start wishing they’d do something, like, really wrong, just so you could be right about them.
Angela: You know how sometimes the last sentence you said, like, echoes in your brain, and it just keeps sounding stupider? And you have to say something else, just to make it stop?
Rickie : Well, with my dad, who’s technically my uncle, but he raised me, I mean, if he gives me something, and I’m mad at him, I can’t open it. But, that’s different, ’cause I’m somewhat afraid of my dad. I mean, in the past, my dad has broken down my door.
Angela : My dad always knocks.
Rickie : I had a feeling.
[bell rings, Angela sees Kyle and Sharon together. She glances at Sharon’s chest, then at them]
Angela: [covering zit on her chin with her hand] So, Sharon’s life was, like, developing…in this natural, healthy way. While my life was, like, clogged.
Angela: The worst feeling is suddenly realizing that…[looks at her chest, looks at girls passing by] you don’t measure up. And that in the past, when you thought you did, you were a fool.
Rickie : Okay, see the Egyptians, they wore eyeliner to…ward off the evil spirits. They believed that if they outlined their eyes, that the good spirits would spot ’em easier. I read it in a book. So that’s why I tried it. The eyeliner, I mean.
Brian : So you believe in, like, evil spirits?
Rickie : Oh no, I, I’m Catholic. Basically, I just like how it looks.
Brian : Oh, okay. Well, that kinda makes sense, I guess.
Angela: Sometimes it seems like we’re all living in, like, some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It’s good to get really dressed up, once in a while. And admit the truth. That when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they’re actually…beautiful. Possibly even me.
Angela’s Poem: “The Fable”
Once upon a time there lived a girl
She slept in a lovely little cottage
Made of gingerbread and candy
She was always asleep
One morning she woke up
And the candy had mold on it
Her father blew her a kiss
And the house fell down
She realized she was lost
She found herself walking down a crowded street
But the people were made of paper
Like paper dolls
She blew everyone a kiss good-bye
And watched as they blew away
Submitted by Starr
Angela: Once upon a time there lived a girl. She slept in a lovely cottage made of gingerbread and candy. She was always asleep. One morning she woke up. She woke up.
Angela: Love…is when you look into someone’s eyes, and suddenly, you go all the way inside…to their soul…and you both know, instantly. I always imagined I would fall in love, nursing a blind soldier. Who was wounded in battle. Or maybe while rescuing someone in the middle of a blizzard, seconds before the avalanche hits. I thought, at least, by the age of fifteen, I would have a love life. But, I don’t even have a “like” life.
Angela: If only there was a button somewhere that I could just push to force me stop talking.
Jordan : Hey. D’ya wanna hear that song I was telling you about?
“I was goin’ nowhere,
goin’ nowhere fast.
Drownin’ in my memories,
livin’ in the past.
Everythin’ looked black ’til I found her.
She’s all I need, and that’s what I said.
Oooh, oooh, oooh, I call her `Red’.”
Rickie : Oh my God, Angela! “Red”…that’s you!
Angela : [“Oh my God, you’re right!” look]
Jordan : “Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I call her `Red’.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She’s my shelter from the storm,
she’s a place to rest my head.
Late at night, she keeps me safe and warm.
I call her `Red’.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I call her `Red’.”
That’s all I have so far.
Angela: This life has been a test. If had been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go, and what to do.
Brian : So, what did your parents think about Jordan Catalano? Were they, like, revolted?
Angela : [whips ball at him] We are not talking about Jordan Catalano…ever again.
Brian : We’re not? Okay, we’re not. Why not?
Angela : Because you are incapable…of understanding.
Brian : Oh yeah, why?
Angela : [whips ball past Brian, into the street] Because it’s never happened to you. I mean, just wait…’til it happens to you, Brian. Seriously, I cannot wait until it happens to you because I’m gonna look at you…and I am gonna laugh. And I’ll say, “See? See? I told you so.”
Angela: There’s so many different ways to be connected to people. There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there’s not even a word for it. There’s the people who you’ve known forever, who know you in this way that other people can’t, because they’ve seen you change…they’ve let you change.
Angela: I wanna be someone else, but to wear, like, an actual costume to school is too scary.
Angela : When someone dies young, it’s like they stay that way forever, like a vampire.
Angela: Seems like some people have to die young. Like it fits them or something.
Danielle: Mom, Sharon Cherski and I exist in, like, two different worlds, okay? I can’t just hand her a dish, okay? I mean it’s just not that simple. I’m doing Angela. Pretty good, huh?
Brian : We’ll get into trouble. You could screw up your whole life.
Angela : At least, at least I’ll know I’m alive.
Rickie : Has there ever been someone, like, did you ever try to protect someone so much that it, like, hurt?
Angela: Each card has a name. The magician [Graham], the Empress [Vivian], The Fool [Danielle], The Wheel of Fortune [an old couple dancing], Strength [Patty]…They represent challenges and tests. [Patty kisses Graham] Twists of fate. [Cut to Rayanne in the hospital. Amber sits by her side, holding her hand.] No card is all good or all bad. Cards can be positive or negative, depending on where they fall. [Cut to Angela sitting in her window reading Amber’s tarot book] When you read someone’s future, they must think of a question. They must hold it in their mind. The cards are read in sequence. Each card leads to the next. We move from terror and loss to unexpected good fortune. And out of darkness, hope is born.
Brian: I became a yearbook photographer because I liked the idea that I could sort of watch life without having to be a part of it. But when you’re yearbook photographer, you’re like, never in the picture.
Brian : Those morning glories aren’t lined up. Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It’s like destroying me.
Graham : I mean, it’s…it’s, um, like wallpaper. I mean, there are hundreds of patterns out there, and it’s kind of daunting because you’re going to have to live with your decision for a long time.
Brian : Say you’re deciding…between two particular patterns, and one of them, you definitely know that, that you really like, and the other is nice wallpaper and all, but you’re not sure if it’s really…
Graham : For you.
Brian : Exactly. But the really great wallpaper, let’s say, is like totally out of your price range. So…do you take the other wallpaper, even though you don’t let’s say, really desire it that much, or do you wait until the really great…wallpaper is…cheaper.
Graham : Well, I guess it depends on how…badly you need wallpaper.
Brian : I would say pretty badly.
Graham : Well, I guess that says it.
Brian : Yeah.
Brian : There’s something about my life. It’s just automatically true that nothing actually happens.
Delia : Oh. Sorry about being so standard in there. My manager like watches us.
Brian : Oh, right.
Delia : I’m glad you came.
Brian : Somewhere far away there was a car alarm. One of those really annoying ones.
Delia : Do you want a sip?
Brian : But suddenly, it was the best sound I’d ever heard. [to Delia] So, I guess I should go.
Delia : Me, too.
Brian : So maybe this is what people mean when they talk about, you know…life.
Jordan : See, I have this philosophy.
Angela : You have a philosophy?
Jordan : Well, if I go somewhere and someone I know is there, then cool, there’s something natural about it. But once you start making plans, then you have like, like obligations and that basically blows. So my feeling is, whatever happens, happens.
Angela : I have to say, I really respect that.
Delia : Hi.
Brian : Oh, hi.
Delia : I’ve been looking for you all day.
Brian : I’ve been like really busy. I’m like carrying a triple minor.
Brian : It’s just so weird when you’ve like chosen your wallpaper, and you think you’re pretty happy with it, but, but just in, every time you pass by the other wallpaper, you know, the one you sort of like more…
Graham : Brian, we’re not talking about wallpaper here, are we?
Brian : Maybe not.
Angela : Rayanne’s right.
Rickie : About what?
Angela : Corey and the dance.
Rickie : She told you?
Angela : It’s okay, I understand.
Rickie : No, you don’t understand. I mean, you don’t understand because…you don’t. You couldn’t…
Angela : Oh, you’re right, Rickie. I couldn’t possibly understand having an obsession for a person I have zero hope of ever becoming involved with. We’re hopeless.
Rickie : Can he excuse us?
Angela : You don’t understand people, Krakow. You’re so heartless.
Brian : I mean the fact that she called me heartless…that’s just really good. That’s excellent. I mean, how ironic can you get without puking?
Rickie : So, Rayanne never called Corey.
Angela : Do you want me to kill her?
Rickie : That’s a really nice offer, but the truth is that would only solve half the problem.
Angela : What’s the other half?
Rickie : The other half is, like, you know…the tough half.
Angela : Which is?
Rickie : Which is like just, you know, that I belong nowhere. With no one. That I don’t…fit.
Jordan : Why are you like this?
Angela : Like what?
Jordan : Like how you are?
Angela : How am I? How – how am I?
Rickie : So, guess where Angela is.
Rayanne : I know where she is.
Rickie : You know? How do you know?
Rayanne : Because I live in the world.
Angela : My whole life became like divided. Into kissing. And not kissing. Kissing, and not kissing.
Angela : In geometry I felt like a criminal. I missed every review session, so I tried to be invisible. It’s surprisingly possible — you just sit in the back and keep quiet and let the boys shout out the answers, which they will, even if they’re wrong. Boys are less afraid…of being wrong.
Rayanne : You should really consider having your lips frosted permanently.
Angela : They feel like they were.
Rayanne : I noticed. They look all like used. But in a good way.
Rayanne : Rat it, spray it, tease it, freeze it.
Rayanne : [to Jordan] You know you like her. Would it kill you to admit it? Maybe treat her halfway decent? Because you know, she deserves it. And she’s not gonna wait around for you forever.
Angela: There’s something about Sunday night that really makes you want to kill yourself, especially if you’ve been totally made a fool of, by the only person you’ll ever love, and you have a geometry midterm on Monday, which you still haven’t studied for, because you can’t, because Brian Krakow has your textbook, and you’re too embarrassed to even deal with it. And your little sister’s completely finished with her homework, which is just like so simple and mindless a child could do it.
Brian : I don’t believe you.
Angela : I know.
Brian : You’re in some kind of dream world, or something that revolves around you. You have like no concept of anybody else’s life.
Angela : I know.
Brian : You couldn’t even begin to imagine the pressure I’m under. You think you’re under pressure? You? That is so like laughable.
Angela : Brian, you are completely right, okay, but could you just please explain geometry to me anyway?
Brian : You think I care? You could not possibly conceive of how much studying I have to do tonight! Have you ever even heard of calculus? Geometry is a paid vacation compared to calculus. Okay? I mean, do you like realize the pressure on a person when it’s like assumed that they will always get As? Hey, Brian, pull another A? That Brian, he always gets an A. You have the option of insanity. I do not. And that, makes me crazy!
Angela: The truly terrifying thing, is that even after everything had happened, Jordan Catalano left a note in my locker to meet him in the boiler room. The nauseating part is that I went.
Katimsky: My mistress’s eyes are nothing like the sun/Coral is far more red than her lips’ red/If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun/If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head/I have seen roses damasked, red and white/ But no such roses see I in her cheeks/And in some perfumes there is more delight/Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks/I love to hear her speak, yet well I know/That music hath a far more pleasing sound/I grant I never saw a goddess go/My mistress when she walks treads on the ground/And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare/As any she belied with false compare.
What kind of girl is Shakespeare describing here? Is she, is she the most beautiful girl?
Brian : No.
Katimsky: Is she a goddess? Physically perfect? The kind of girl who — uh — stops traffic? When she walks down the street?
Brian : No.
Katimsky: So he’s — not in love with her?
Jordan : Yeah. He is.
Katimsky: Well, why is that? Why is he in love with her?
Brian : She’s not just a fantasy. She’s got like flaws. She’s real.
Angela: Please, God, I know I’ve cut English, and done a million other terrible things, including not even completely believing in you, but please, please help me to pass this midterm. Oh, God, who am I kidding? It’s too late. It’s over.
Jordan : [to Angela] Can we like go somewhere?
Angela : Sure. [as they walk away, Jordan takes her hand]
Sharon : Angela, wait! Don’t forget the geometry review.
Rayanne : Forget it. She already did.
Rickie : Look at that Cynthia Hargrove.
Rayanne : It’s a pierced nose. It’s not like an actual personality, or something.
Angela : Who were you trashing?
Rayanne : Cynthia Hargrove’s nose stud. It’s too small! It’s like a semi-precious pimple!
Rickie : She’s such a sleaze. You are like such an improvement.
Angela : What do you mean? You mean Jordan went out with Cynthia Hargrove?
Rayanne : Well, went out…I mean, I don’t know how many outside locations they actually went to.
Angela : But, she’s someone Jordan used to um…
Rayanne : Yes, Jordan used to “um” her.
Angela: I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The like fact that, that people had sex. That they just had it, like sex was this thing people had, like a rash. Or a…a rottweiler. Everything started to seem like, pornographic or something. Like, Mrs. Krysanowski has sex. So does Mr. Katimsky. They both have sex. They could…have sex together. Like right now. I am, like, the sickest person.
Brad : So, do you have a major?
Jordan : I don’t think so.
Hallie : Oh, you’d probably know um, if you did.
Jordan : Yeah, I probably would have gotten like a letter, or something.
Angela: There’s this dividing line, between girls who’ve had sex, and girls who haven’t, and all of a sudden, we realized that we were looking at each other across it.
Brian : What?
Angela : I’m sorry. I was going to ask if I could borrow your bike, but forget it. I’m always doing this, I’m always asking you for something that’s totally unfair of me to ask you for. It’s like a sick habit, just because you’re polite about it doesn’t mean it’s right. It’s not, it’s wrong. It’s totally unfair of me, and I’ll never do it again. Okay? [Brian gets off his bike] I’ll have it back by tonight.
Rickie : I wish I could get away with bicycle shorts.
Angela : I feel so stupid, my entire relationship with Jordan Catalano, every minute of it just completely sucked. And now it’s over. I should have just had sex with him. Why not? It’dve been so simple.
Rickie : But maybe it shouldn’t be. So simple. I mean, not that I know what I’m talking about, or anything, since I’ve never, you know, experienced this, or what have you. But even if I did meet the perfect person, I just think that it should be like a miracle, like seeing a comet…or just feeling like you’re seeing one. Seeing the other person’s perfectness or something. And if you do it before you’re ready, how are you going to see all that? Not that I would like know, or anything.
Jordan : I brought your bike back. Or whoever’s it is.
Angela : So are we supposed to say something? Like official, because…
Jordan : You don’t have to say anything.
Angela : It’s sort of like when you were letting me drive your car. And I loved it, it made me feel really powerful, but also really terrified, like I wasn’t ready for that much freedom.
Jordan : Well, you should know. I won’t hold it against you if your name ever comes up.
Angela : Thanks.
Jordan : No sweat.
Angela : Because it – it is a big deal. I mean, because sex made your whole life start, and if you think about life as like a circle or something, then sex and death are the same look, I’m not I’m not saying they’re the same, I mean, I’ve thought about having sex with you, and and and God, I’ve I’ve never seriously thought of killing you, but…
Jordan : Okay. Okay. At least, you got in some driving practice.
Angela : Yeah.
Jordan : Just ah, don’t take your turns too wide, or anything. I’m sure you won’t.
Angela: Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart. [to Jordan] Your hair. Like how it’s really soft, like in the back. I’m gonna miss it.
Jordan : Yeah.
Angela : Well, I guess this is it. So…goodbye.
Jordan : Bye. See you tomorrow.
Angela : [riding a bicycle up the street] People always say you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster, or something. Like you can know what it is, even. But every so often, I’ll have like…a moment, where being myself, and my life right where I am is, like, enough. [she releases the handlebars and rides up the street, no hands]
Angela : What’s wrong?
Jordan : Nothing. Just…
Angela: You need me. You must have me as your own. You can’t live another second knowing others could possess me.
Jordan : I could kill Tino.
Rayanne : Just so you know, I, uh, I didn’t drink that whiskey. I poured it back. You can ask Angela.
Patty : You haven’t had one drink? Since that night in the hospital?
Rayanne : No. Swear to God.
Patty : Why didn’t you tell me that you had stopped seeing your counselor?
Rayanne : I don’t know. Maybe just ’cause I wanted you to think I was okay, so you wouldn’t mind if I, you know, stayed friends with Angela.
Patty : I guess she means a lot to you, huh?
Rayanne : I guess that’s, like, the one thing you and I have in common. Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Chase.
Patty : Rayanne?
Rayanne : Yo.
Patty : Apparently you and I are in the same courasse. Call me Patty.
Rayanne : Patty, thanks. For, like…for my life.
Angela : Hi. I’ve never been out here before. So Rickie was really scared. I mean, I was, too. So, what, you’re mad at me? Because I didn’t get to hear you sing?
Rayanne : You didn’t miss much, just me making a fool out of myself, and you’ve seen that plenty. Right? Anyway, I knew you wouldn’t show. I can’t stand these looks anymore.
Angela : What looks?
Rayanne : You and Rickie looking at me like I’m gonna lose control, like any minute I’m gonna go on some jag or something. I just can’t stand knowing what you’re thinking about me.
Angela : What? What am I thinking?
Rayanne : I’m messed up. That I’m too messed up for you to be my friend anymore.
Angela : Rayanne, that’s not true. I never…I’m still your friend. Nothing’s changed. But that wasn’t completely true either. And we both, like, knew it.
Rayanne : Maybe it was just easier, you know? You’d come to me for advice and stuff, like you used to before.
Angela : I should’ve been there. [Rayanne nods] Last night. I should’ve been there no matter what.
Rayanne : Miss you.
Angela : I know. I missed you, too.
Danielle: Do we have to keep talking about religion? It’s Christmas.
Angela: The thing about resolutions is, it’s hard to remember them around somebody like Jordan Catalano.
Angela: I loved Jordan Catalano so much, and talked about him so much, and thought about him so much, it was like he lived inside me. Like he had taken possession of my soul, or something. And then one day…I got over him!
Angela: It was like Jordan Catalano had been surgically removed from my heart. And I was free!
Jordan : So, Graff…so who are you here with?
Rayanne : If you mean, “where’s Angela,” she didn’t come. Just like usual.
Jordan : So let me ask you somethin’…
Rayanne : It wasn’t even my idea! I auditioned for this stupid play. It was Angela’s. Yeah, right, like I could be Emily.
Jordan : Emily who?
Rayanne : It’s this part, in this stupid Our Town play. It was just wishful thinking. No, I could never be her. Angela could be her.
Jordan : Oh yeah?
Rayanne : She’s exactly like Angela. I mean, you know, she’s so innocent that, like, she, like, doesn’t know she’s innocent.
Jordan : Yeah.
Rayanne : And she always says this stuff like, “My, isn’t the moonlight terrible?”
Jordan : Yeah, she’s always sayin’ innocent stuff like that.
Rayanne : No, I meant, I meant…never mind.
Jordan : So, does she like that guy I keep seein’ her talkin’ to, Corey, or what?
Rayanne : I dunno, it’s hard to say, y’know?
Jordan : Sometimes it’s like I really think I know her. And then it’ll be like, like we’re total strangers.
Angela: When you call someone’s name, like, kind of loud, and they don’t hear you, it makes you feel really lonely.
Rayanne : Well, I got the part. I would never have gotten it if it wasn’t for you.
Angela : Look, I don’t care anymore, okay? So just go away.
Rayanne : You’re not the only one who got hurt.
Angela : Well, forgive me if I can’t feel sorry for you, Rayanne.
Rayanne : You lost nothing, Angela. You lost a lousy, selfish friend, a guy you never really had…you lost nothing! I lost a really good friend! I lost everything.
[reading lines from the play, “Our Town”]
Rayanne : I can’t go on, it goes so fast, we don’t have time to look at one another. I didn’t realize. So all that was going on, and…we never noticed. Take me back. Back to the hill, to my grave. But first, wait! One last look. Goodbye. Goodbye, world. Goodbye, Grover’s Corners. Momma and Poppa. Goodbye to clocks ticking. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every every minute?
Abyssinia : No. Saints and poets, maybe they do so.
Rayanne : I’m ready to go back.
Angela : [crying, chin trembling] Were you happy?
Rayanne : No. I should have listened to you. But that’s all human beings are. Just blind people.
Danielle: My whole life, is waiting for something to happen.
Danielle : My life is different people kicking me out of different rooms.
Rickie : Hey.
Rayanne : Hey, it’s the Ray-gun. What’s shakin’?
Rickie : Uh, nada.
Rayanne : So, Angela, like, barely said hello.
Rickie : Look, Rayanne, don’t put me in the middle of this, okay?
Rayanne : Hey, I didn’t put you there, that’s just where you are.
Danielle: It is so cool to be hanging with my big sister and her cool friend.
Brian : Oh my God.
Danielle: Oh my God. When he walked through the door, part of his arm touched my shoulder. I thought I would faint, I mean swoon.
Danielle: My parents say you’re a bad influence. I heard ’em talking about the things you do. Why do you do ’em?
Rayanne : I don’t know. See, okay, when I look at myself, I see everything in, like, slow motion, and I think, “Something has to happen.” Only, it never does. So I have to make it happen.
Angela: In the dream I keep having about Jordan Catalano, I’m trying to catch up with him. But it’s hard, because there’s something wrong with the floor. Sometimes my father is there. Sometimes my great-aunt Gertrude’s funeral kinda gets mixed in with it. The end of the dream is always the same, I catch up with him. I yell and scream, how he hurt and betrayed me. How I can never forgive him. He just stands there, like someone caught in a storm who stopped caring how what he gets. Then I wake up. The storm of words still pounds through my body. Hatred can become, like, food. It gives you this energy. You can, like, live off it.
Angela: It’s so weird when you see someone you just dreamed about. Like it’s gonna show.
Jordan : Help me, Brain. Help me figure out something good to say to Angela.
Brian : No, uh-uh. No. Look, you did an undefendable thing, okay? No one can change that. I mean, you have to live with it. It’s like you created your own prison, and now you have to exist in it.
Jordan : That’s perfect. Give me some more stuff like that.
Jordan : Angela?
Angela : I’m gonna be late for homeroom. What?
Jordan : I did an undefendable thing.
Jordan : I created my own prison.
Jordan : And I have to exist in it. Maybe I had a…wish, or whatever. To punish you. An unconscious wish. You’ve heard of them, right?
Angela : Yeah, I think so. I can’t believe, what you just said was really amazing.
Jordan : I know.
Angela : Okay.
Jordan : Okay, what?
Angela : Okay, now we can have a serious talk.
Jordan : We just did.
Angela : Oh, come on, you can’t hit a person with something that profound and expect that to be the end of the discussion.
The Letter: Dear Angela,
I know in the past I’ve caused you pain, and I’m sorry. And I’ll always be sorry, ’til the day I die. And I hate this pen I’m holding, because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand, because it isn’t you. I even hate this letter, because it’s not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is…so much more than a letter can even say. If you wanna hate me, go ahead. If you wanna burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down. You could tell me to go to hell…I’d go, if you wanted me to. And I’d send you a letter from there.
Sincerely, Jordan Catalano
Angela: Have you ever just, like, completely given up on someone, and then something happens, and you go, “Oh my God. There’s so much more to this person than I ever dreamed!”
Jordan : I have all these dreams where I know exactly what to say. And you tell me, you know, that you forgive me.
Jordan : It’s like…you think you’re safe, or something. ‘Cause you can just…walk away anytime. Because you don’t, like, need her. You don’t need anyone. But the thing you didn’t realize is…you’re wrong.
Patty : Um, well, it was, I was expecting company tonight. An old friend. That was, he, just now on the phone. Seems that, uh, he has a touch of the flu, or something, and he took all this decongestant, and he was afraid to drive. This was a person who drove so recklessly when he was seventeen, that my parents wanted him dead.
Jordan : Wow, ironic.
Angela : Uh, Brian? Brian, look at me. Um, that letter I told you about. Um, Rickie said you wrote it. And I have to know because…
Brian : Know what? There’s nothing to know. Okay, what, what Rickie probably meant is that, see, Jordan Catalano asked me to, like, proofread it for grammatical errors.
Angela : You proofread a love letter? Is this like a game to you?
Brian : Um, hardly.
Angela : But you admit that you were involved.
Brian : I’m not admitting anything.
Angela : This is a joke, right? That the, the two of…Oh God. I can’t believe I fell for it. It’s obviously a total lie.
Brian : No, I meant every word. I mean, the person who wrote it meant every word. Probably.
Angela : Brian?
Brian : I didn’t write it.
Angela : But Brian, you said…
Brian : Forget what I said. Forget this whole conversation!
Angela : How?
Brian : You liked it, though, right? It made you, like, happy?
Angela : Yeah.
Brian : ‘Cause that’s probably all that, you know, matters.
Angela : To who?
Brian : To, you know, the person…who wrote it.