“The usual masculine disillusionment is in discovering that a woman has a brain.” -Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind
“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” -Elayne Boosler
“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.” -Ellen DeGeneres
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God….I could be eating a slow learner.” –Lynda Montgomery
“Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That’s why you should never date a baseball player.” –Marsha Warfield
“You can’t have luck when someone else has skill. So long time ago, we decided to invest in the stock market. There’s no skill in that. Even your mother agreed.” –Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
Real equality is going to come not when a female Einstein is recognized as quickly as a male Einstein, but when a female schlemiel is promoted as quickly as a male schlemiel. –Bella Abzug
“I loved my shadow, this dark side of me that had my same restless nature.” –Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
“And I think now that fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention.”–Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
Men will talk, sometimes is complete sentences but more often than not to women on the street. In my case, I hear a lot of , “Yo, Red!” What exactly am I supposed to do with a comment like Yo, Red? Yell back, “Yo, Bald!” or “Yo, Short!” –Dorian Yeager
And when I got into the car, I still had the glow of that feeling and I touched his hand and said, “Harold, I love you.” And he looked in the rearview mirror, backing up the car, and said, “I love you, too. Did you lock door?” And just like that, I started to think, It’s just not enough. –Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
In the future, I will remember the details of this day, the ordinary trivia illuminated by an event that sent my mind currying for significance. I seem unwilling to live with randomness. -Joy Kagawa, Obasan
Do not put such unlimited power in the hands of husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. –Abigail Adams
How different my two aunts are. One lives in sound, the other in stone. Obasan’s language remains deeply underground, but Aunt Emily, BA, MA, is a word warrior. She’s a crusader, a little old gray-haired Mighty Mouse, A Bachelor of Advanced Activists and General Practitioner of Just Causes. -Joy Kagawa, Obasan
I learned to make my mind large, like the universe is large, so there is room for paradoxes. –Maxine Hong Kingston, Woman Warrior
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. –Joan Rivers
I thought talking and not talking made the difference between sanity and insanity. –Maxine Hong Kingston, Woman Warrior
“There’s a lot that doesn’t bear thinking about. Thinking can hurt your chances, and I intend to last.”
–Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
Men have always been afraid that women could get along without them. –Margaret Mead
“Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.” –Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
“Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.”–Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
“I know he’s rich. He knows he’s rich, too.” –Lorraine Hansberry, A Raisin in the Sun
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – They’ve
experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner
“I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.” – Carol Leifer
She said I would grow up a wife and slave, but she taught me the song of the warrior woman. –Maxine Hong Kingston, Woman Warrior
Father asked us what was God’s noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are. — Louisa May Alcott
“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.” –Maya Angelou
“The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less.”
–Susan B. Anthony
“I married beneath me. All women do.” –Lady Nancy Astor
“Resolved, that the women of this nation in 1876, have greater cause for discontent, rebellion and
revolution than the men of 1776.” — Susan B. Anthony
“In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on a
woman.” –Lady Nancy Astor
“We are not asking for superiority for we have always had that; all we ask is equality.” –Lady Nancy Astor
“I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.” –Jane Austen
“One reason I don’t drink is because I wish to know when I’m having a good time.” –Lady Nancy Astor
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” –Erma Bombeck
“I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.” –Erma Bombeck
“It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.” –Erma Bombeck
“Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.” — Erma Bombeck
“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for
what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”
–Rita Mae Brown
“A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it’s better than no inspiration at all.” –Rita Mae Brown
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.”
–Rita Mae Brown
“If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.” — Rita Mae Brown
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
Lily Tomlin
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.” –Eleanor Roosevelt