Funny Texas Quotes

……and on the eighth day God created Texas !!
Born in Texas….a long, long time ago….
God bless America….’specially Texas !!
God blessed Texas with his own hands.


I wasn’t born in Texas….

but I got here as soon as I could.

Life’s too short not to live it as a Texan !!!
My heart “bees” in Texas …

(I saw this on a t-shirt with bees on it…)


Never ask a man where he’s from.

If he’s from Texas….he’ll tell you.

If not….don’t embarrass him !!


NEW !!

Take the wand

tap it to your cowboy hat one time…

Dance the two-step around the room twice…

And then….tap your cowboy boot heels together

and say,

“There’s no place like Texas…There’s no place like Texas…


(This little ditty was a brainstorm of mine when I had an arts

and crafts shop in a small town in Texas—Deanie)
Texan by birth…Aggie by the Grace of God !!!

NEW !!

Texas Earthworm

(this was on a sign that depicted a rattlesnake)


Texan to the Bones

(I saw this on a sign with the Texas flag and a set of longhorns)

Texas Ain’t no place for Amateurs…!!
Texas is Aggie Country !!
Texas is as close as I have been to Heaven !!!


The real name of Texas is…


We is gone to Texas…

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13 Responses to Funny Texas Quotes

  1. James Charles Vasquez says:

    the best thing to come out of oklahoma is…35 south!
    dont mess with texas..cuz texas will mess you up!

  2. Leslie says:

    As my Grandaddy Mark used to say:

    It’s raining so hard it sounds like a cow pissing on a flat rock.
    People in Hell want ice water too.

    God rest his soul,

  3. Sharon Brown says:

    People who love themselves
    don’t hurt other people

    The more people hate themselves
    the more people want others to suffer

    You resent me because every day I prove your no better than me

  4. Sharon says:

    Smile….Sunshine is good for your teeth

  5. Steph says:

    If you’re dating a Texas girl raise your glass,
    If you’re not… Raise your standards!

  6. Henry Meguess says:

    He could talk a dog off a meat wagon

  7. BeeRad says:

    Like my grandfather always said: “Welp I’m gonna go upstairs and screw your grandmother”.

  8. susana garcia says:

    Texas should be its own county and i would be its first president.

  9. Melody says:

    Overheard in rural East Texas: “They stared at him like a cow stares at a new gate.”

  10. Jesse says:

    Like I’ve commented on Facebook to potential California immigrants: If you take I-10 East, when you get to El Paso it’s a bit over 800 miles to Louisiana. Keep driving.

  11. ā€œIā€™d rather be a fencepost in Texas, than the king of Tennessee.ā€
    Chris Wall Texas Singer-Songwriter-Austin.

  12. Todd Barrow says:

    Yup i’m a Texan!!!

  13. Sweetwater says:

    He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the sole

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