Troy (Ethan Hawke): So what do you say, Lelaina?
Lelaina (Winona Ryder): I’m not a valedictorian but I play one on tv.
Troy: We all know you slept your way to the podium.
Vickie (Janeane Garofalo): My favorite part about graduating now will be dodging my student loan officer for the rest of my life. He will be in cahoots with the Columbia Record and Tape Company guy whose been after my rear for years.
Lelaina: Troy, you’re a master at the art of time suckage.
Michael (Ben Stiller): I’m a non-practicing jew.
Lelaina: Hey, I’m a non-practicing virgin.
Michael: What’s your glitch?
Michael: Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you, because excuse me if somebody doesn’t know the secret handshake with you.
Lelaina: Well, congratulations, Troy Dyer. Welcome to the world of the emotionally mature. It’s a very nice place to visit. Hey, you may run in to Michael he lives here.