Funny Computer Quotes

A carelessly planned project

takes three times longer to complete than expected;

a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.

(Golub’s Law of Computerdom)

~~~

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer !

A computer is only as good as it’s programmer.

Any given program, when running is obsolete.

Any program will expand to fill any available memory.

Click now….repent later !

~~~

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.

Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

~~~

Computer saves man a lot of guesswork,

but so does the bikini.

~~~

Computers will never replace human stupidity.

Hug your computer today !

I just wish my mouth had a backspace key !!

I haven’t lost my mind…I have a back-up somewhere.

If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

~~~

If a test installation functions perfectly,

all subsequent systems will malfunction.

(Troutman’s Programming Laws)

~~~

If builders built buildings

the way programmers wrote programs,

then the first woodpecker that came along

would destroy civilization.

(Weinberg’s Law)

~~~

If computers get too powerful,

we can organize them

into a committee……

that will do them in.

(Bradley’s Bromide)

~~~

If it wasn’t for the computer today,

where would man be tomorrow ??

At peace…

~~~

If it’s not in the computer….it doesn’t exist !!

~~~

If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input,

an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.

(Troutman’s Programming Laws)

~~~

If you did your search right the first time,

you wouldn’t need to do research.

~~~

Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

(Hare’s Law of Large Programs)

Interchangeable tapes……..won’t !!

(Troutman’s Programming Laws)

~~~

Job control cards that cannot be arranged

in improper order….will be.

(Troutman’s Programming Laws)

~~~

Just where is the “any” key anyway??

Life’s to short to backspace…learn to read Typonese…!!

~~~

Machines work, people should think.

(Troutman’s Programming Laws)

~~~

Make it possible for programmers to write in English

and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

~~~

Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.

(Dave Platt)

My computer made me do it !!

Not tonight dear…..I have a modem.

~~~

Not until a program has been in production

for at least six months

will the most harmful error then be discovered.

(Troutman’s Programming Laws)

~~~

Old computer programmers never die…..they just lose their memory.

Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Our policy is to ALWAYS blame the computer !

~~~

Program complexity grows until

it exceeds the capability of the programmer

to maintain it.

~~~

Smash head on keyboard to continue….

The attention span of a computer is as long as it’s electrical cord.

~~~

The effort required to correct the error

increases geometrically with time.

(Golub’s Law of Computerdom)

~~~

The only people who think computer are good

are those people who haven’t got one yet.

~~~

The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

When all else fails….manipulate the data !

~~~

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4 Responses to Funny Computer Quotes

  1. Kelley says:

    rate: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Life would be so much easier if it came with Ctrl+Alt+Del option

  2. Laly Pop says:

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    One of the advantages of being a Geek is that I can handle lots of Id-10-t errors.

  3. Laly Pop says:

    rate: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    One of the biggest advantages of being a Computer Technician is the skill to eliminate ID-10-T errors.

  4. Laly Pop says:

    rate: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    One of the biggest advantages of being a Computer Technician is the ability to handle and eliminate ID-10-T errors. ~LP

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