Funny Quotes on Cooking and Cooks
A skinny cook can’t be trusted !
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A watched pot never boils…
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Annoying the cook will result in smaller portions.
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Complaints to the Cook…can be hazardous to your health !
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Got more time for misbehavin’….since I started microwaving…!!
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Hey good lookin’……what’s cookin’..???
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HOME COOKING
Like Mother used to do
before cigarettes and soap operas.
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Kitchen closed due to illness: I am sick of COOKING !!
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I am not a fast cook,
I am not a slow cook,
I am a half-fast cook.
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I came…I saw….I decided to order take out !
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I cook with wine…Sometimes I even put it in the food !
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I don’t cook on days that end in Y ….
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I kiss better than I cook…!!
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I made my favorite thing for dinner….a reservation.
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I never met a cookie I didn’t like!
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I only like two kinds of pie:
hot ones and cold ones!
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I would cook dinner but I
can’t find the can opener !
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If God wanted me to cook,
why did he invent restaurants ???
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If yer lookin’ for home cookin’…..Go home !!!
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If you don’t like my cooking, lower your standards.
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If you want breakfast in bed …
sleep in the kitchen.
Bed and Breakfast…. you make both.
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It’s milk and cookie time!!
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Just say NO to cookin’….
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Kiss the cook !!
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My family eats from all of the food groups.
Fast, Frozen, Canned and Microwaveable…!!
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My favorite recipe…..eat out !!
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My favorite recipe….order in !!
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My wife treats me like a god;
I get a burnt offering at every meal.
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Never…ever…trust a skinny cook !!!
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Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
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Only the pure of heart can make good soup!!!!!
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Open the oven, take a look;
first to complain…
is next week’s cook !!
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She who cooks, never cleans !
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The perfect food would taste as good as fresh popcorn smells !
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The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
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Today’s Menu:
Take it or Leave it…!!
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Too many cooks…Spoil the broth.
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When I learned how to cook…I forgot how to clean !!
Hanoz Viraf Messman
’Fish, to taste right, must swim three times — in water, in butter and in wine.’
Amy Dodd Gonzales
If we are what we eat, then I’m fast, cheap and easy!
Bryony
I don’t cook on weekdays, and I order in on weekends…
Bryony
Please sir, may I have some more?